Living your life through others, or, why my friends shouldn't be allowed to date

Last night my friend Will went on a date. This was a Major Event in my life for several reasons, none of which remotely justify the amount of squeeing that went on in our flat before he left to go on said date, and all of which are incredibly selfish.

Reason the first:
Dating is just not a very Scottish thing. As a nation, we tend not to have the necessary finesse to handle the portion of the evening which is usually meant to consist of civilized small-talk, and prefer to progress to just getting shit-faced together.

Reason the second:
Will totally got this date by going up to a stranger and asking him out. I know. It blew my mind too. People actually have the balls to do that? People I know? Wow, I really need to work on elevating my social skills.

Reason the third:
I have been in the same relationship for more than three years. The thought of dating scares the crap out of me.